I know everyone, just name them
Pedro was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Pedro how about Tom Cruise?”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Pedro and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Pedro! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”
Although impressed, Pedro’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Pedro that he thinks Pedro’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Pedro says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes,” Pedro says, “I know him. Let’s fly out to Washington.”
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Pedro on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Pedro, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Pedro, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“The Pope,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Pedro.
“My folks are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”
So off they fly to Rome. Pedro and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Pedro says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what – I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Pedro emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Pedro returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss’ side, Pedro asks him, “What happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Pedro?”